This insomnia is killing me. I can't get back on schedule. I'm exhausted during the day and at night I can't quiet my thoughts long enough to drift into a good sleep.

I had a very nice weekend with friends. Good food, fun, and baby gifts. As I opened baby gifts again I couldn't help but think, "Am I really opening baby shower presents again?? And more boy gifts???" I still feel like I should be seeing pink instead of blue. I am really trying not to complain these last few weeks and just enjoy feeling the movement of life inside of me because I don't know if I will experience pregnancy again. With Jaxson I was so sure that I was not going to have anymore that I never had sad moments where I thought, "Oh, enjoy this phase because you will never experience it again" With this one, I am feeling that way. Which makes me a little sad because then I think to myself, this must be the last one. Then I get a nice kick to the ribs or the spine and I think, "Oh, I hope I never have to go through this again"

Jaxson has yet another cold. He has been coughing all weekend and not acting like himself. (meaning he is quiet and just relaxed instead of sassy and calling the shots) I have started to notice that he gets this cough and congestion when it damp outside......I'm beginning to suspect that maybe he has some asthma?

Connor has been so helpful lately. I forget sometimes how old he is getting and still tend to look at him as a toddler.....it is so hard to look at him and realize he is now a little boy. He has started helping me clean the house and is really good at cleaning the floors for me. He certainly fits the personality type for the oldest child. He is very responsible and sometimes it makes me sad that he doesn't act more like a 7 year old child as much as he should. He is very diligent about keeping his eyes on Jaxson and letting me know when he is doing something he should not. Connor gets up every morning and makes himself a bowl of cereal and is thoughtful enough to make his brother his daily toaster struddle. He does not like to be late for anything and gets teary eyed if we are a little late getting to his school in the morning and he is not the first one waiting at the door. I realize that I tend to update alot about Jaxson and share alot of stories about him and Connor is often not mentioned as much and it has nothing to do with favorites. Jaxson just is so energetic and full of mischief that he keeps me so busy all day. My time is often consumed with him. Connor is so quiet and has just had the ability to know between right and wrong from the time he was little that he slips by like a little ghost sometimes.

Both of my boys are so loving and sweet. (even Jaxson when he is spilling M&Ms all over the floor or wandering the house at night) and I know that nothing I ever accomplish in my life will be as great as being able to be their mother. It isn't always easy but it is DEFINITELY worth it.