Someone like you

For two years I have been weighed down by love, anger, jealousy, hate, and all the emotions that I put in my life from a wrong decision that gave me my baby Carter but also gave Carter a dad that I have imagined a life of misery with. Last night I was thinking about a poem I had in my scriptures

My load was so heavy that day after day,
I staggered and stumbled and fell by the way.
At last as I lay there, exhausted and frayed,
I lifted my heart to the Savior and prayed.
"Lord Jesus, this burden you gave me to bear,
was way out of reason and more than my share.
Why did you ask me to carry it all?
Surely you knew I would stumble and fall"
The answer that came to my listening ear
was quiet and simple but perfectly clear.
"Your burden was never excessively great
It's just that you foolishly tripled it's weight.
Yesterdays burden was carried but then
you insisted on bearing it over again.
Along with today's and like one obsessed
you piled up tomorrows along with the rest.
I said long ago and it's still just as right
"My yoke is easy, my burden is light"
Seeing so clearly where I had been wrong
I arose and walked quickly and briskly along


The love of a parent is a hard emotion because it brings out so many emotions both good and bad. And when the situation between the parents is not ideal, it makes life even harder. I have had a dose of reality the past two days and I have realized with humility the way I have allowed this situation to effect my whole surroundings. My family, my friends, and myself. It brought tears to my eyes to read the part, "Yesterdays burden was carried but then, you insisted on bearing it over again. " I have been stuck like I was in sand for two years. Just crying over a situation that I cannot change. I was looking at pictures with the kids from the past 7 years and I found myself feeling very sad realizing that I was looking at a person in myself that is lost forever. I will never be able to be that person again but now I have the ability to be an even better person than the one in those pictures. That girl wasn't perfect 7 years ago, and I may not even be perfect 7 years from now. Today I have a greater sense of lightness about me because of a poem I wrote down in a book 14 years ago that inspires me to let go and move quickly along.