February 29, 2012

The year with the extra day in February. It rained ALL day. It was the perfect day for Chuck E Cheese because it was too wet to go outside. And the place was NOT busy at all so it was p-e-r-f-e-c-t.

Connor had his annual blue and gold dinner for scouts tonight. He earned his wolf a few weeks before his birthday and is starting on his bear. Connor pointed out to me this morning that I am getting old and I am not as cool as I thought I was. He has requested that I drop him off at the fence by his school so that his friends don't see his mom dropping him off. Funny how I remember getting to that age where I was embarressed of my parents and I NEVER thought I would be that parent. LOL. I have lost 10 lbs in the last 2 months and I just got my hair done???? What isn't cool about me? Maybe I shouldn't roll down the window and yell "Bye Connor. I love you" when I'm driving off? Team Comcast finished a week ago and we have a week break before the next round of hockey starts.

Jaxson is a typical middle child. He doesn't like Connor because he says that Connor gets to do everything he can't do. And he doesn't like Carter because he says that Carter touches all of his stuff. It never fails, if we go to Target or Walmart or McDonalds....Jaxson finds a friend from school. I hear, "JAXSON!!!" and kids run from everywhere to hold his hand or give him a hug. I have been giving Jaxson some extra attention because he is having a hard time with reading and sitting still in school. We are working on it and he has made alot of improvements. His favorite game right now is Skylanders for the Wii. Jaxson is such a loving child. He openly gives affection to anyone who needs it.

Carter is feeling the pressure of turning 2. We are working hard on giving up the B-o-T-T-L-E. He LOVES his bottle so much. He is my only child to be so attached to his bottle. Today, we are down to only one bottle. Tomorrow, we are making a goal of no bottle. That means it will be a day full of distractions. Carter amazes me everyday. He isn't even two yet but he can tell me that he needs to go to the bathroom and will sit on the toilet and go. I watch his face and I watch him looking at his body and I can see him understanding how his bladder works and how to make himself go, and how to hold it. It's funny how hard things were with Connor because he was my first and how easy it seems with Carter because he is my last. Connor was over the age of 3 and still struggling to potty train. Carter tells everyone leaving out the front door, "Goodbye. I love you". He is such a sweet little boy but he does have a naughty side. The terrible twos are starting and he is starting to show how smart he can be. He yelled at me more than once today and told me, "you want me to pank your bum" And when he gets really mad at me, he just screams. It is a scream that shakes his whole body and makes his face go red. So, we are working on breaking the bottle habit, potty training, loving others, and time outs. Carter is my last baby and I really wish he would just sit with me and let me hug him just a little bit. I miss just having him lay in my arms. He is growing up too fast in some ways.

I have always struggled with how to say the right things and usually end up saying the wrong. My sister is in a really bad place right now in her life and we are praying so hard for her. I will admit that I struggle with understanding why satans plan was so wrong? Sure, life would be boring, and limited. We wouldn't have the ability to choose right or wrong. We would just be stuck doing right because we would have no agency. But when I look at the path my sister has chosen and the decisions she is making that are killing her, I wish she didn't have agency. I still wonder if things would have been different if my parents had let me carry out my plan when she was 17 to lock her in the house? (I'm like satan, just take that agency RIGHT away). To some people I may seem cold or heartless when it comes to my sister but as I have watched the addiction take over her whole life, I have had no choice but to start seperating myself because I know that the path she has chosen has only two ends. To overcome the addiction or to die. Today I looked at a picture of my sister taken with me in 2000 and a picture taken of her at the beginning of February and it is shocking to see how a chemical has overtaken her whole body. And I would never say that my sister is not pretty because I know she is, but she needs to start bringing that pretty back. Both of the ends will free her from the bondage of her addiction but I pray that she picks the one that will leave her with life.