The Lord uses a scale very different from the world's to weigh the worth of a soul .......Dieter F. Uchtdorf

This month has been an up and down of happiness and sadness. Most of the times, pure happiness because I am a lucky woman to have a great husband and three beautiful kids. Sadness, because for the first time in my life, I have pure hate in my heart. I hate a person so much that it actually makes myself hurt. Hate is a much different emotion than I ever expected it to be. You watch the TV programs where the scorned woman hates the man so much that she consumes her time boiling with rage. True hate is as I have discovered the most intense feeling of just regret. I just want this person to never appear in my life again.

I was distracted away from the important things in my life by something that was worthless. I have found myself again and the woman that I was before I made a really bad choice that I regret. I have discovered the true beauty of the atonement. I am not going to say that I am perfect again or that I ever was, I am just happy to have found the beauty of life again. And as I stated in the previous paragraph, I am still working on so many emotions and consequences of picking a path that should not have been taken, but because of the atonement, I can be restored to the kind of person I desire to be.

And the most beautiful part of everyday is that I look at my three beautiful little boys and I know that I am doing what I should have been doing from the very beginning.......working on myself so that I can be the mother they need to lead them in the world. I have been exposed to the worse part of the world in the past year and I have realized the danger my boys will face growing up in this world. I know the woman I have to be to raise them safe.



......Dont go away mad, just go away.....................................................