Jaxson is sleeping on the pillow next to me and I am in heaven looking at his chubby cheeks, little lips, perfect button nose, and peaceful eyes. I wonder what he is dreaming about. What do four year olds dream about? Endless supplies of McDonalds? Having the ability to be Diego the Explorer?

As I look at his little face sleeping I remember the first time I saw him after the doctor cleaned him off and handed him to me. I remember looking into his open, wide eyes and falling into a love that only a mother feels for her child. Jaxson was my hairy baby and had a full head of DARK, DARK hair. He didn't sleep in his crib. He liked sleeping in his bouncy chair. I would put him in it next to my bed and I remember waking up a few times in the night just to look at his peaceful little face sleeping. As I look at him sleeping on his pillow next to me, I look at his face and can still see my newborn baby with crazy, dark hair. I imagine that I will look at him when he is in his 20's and 30's and still see my newborn.

I worked all weekend and stayed overnight Friday night because of the snow and when I walked in the house Saturday night, Jaxson met me at the door and hugged me and said, "mom, I missed you" I hope he knows one day how much I love and miss him when I have to be away from him.