School, Spring, and Squirrels

** This blog may contain a dead squirrel***

Am I alive? I don't know. I think so. I have a pulse. (No, I am not the dead squirrel that I mentioned above. I think I am breathing but it that time of the year that I doubt, complain, and generally make everyone in my house miserable because you know that saying.....If momma aint happy, aint nobody happy. The time of the year for finals and the final two weeks before three months of nursing free sunshine. On top of finals and finishing the nursing semester, I have decided to potty train Jaxson. Well, let me clarify that, Jaxson has INSISTED that his mother start potty training him. The kid will NOT keep a diaper on and insists on wearing nothing but underwear.

Ok, back to nursing school. I just have to get this off my chest. I will just apologize now for any offense I may cause, and I have changed the names to protect the innocent. I want to give you an inside look at nursing school. Of course you may think this is a bias opinion because it is my opinion but I will give you the examples and stories that I have heard from many poor souls that have had to endure nursing school. I was not a believer. I heard the stories before I elected to go into the nursing career but blew them off believing with my self absorbed ego that I would never endure the horrors. I mean I was a 4.0 student. (I just love throwing that in, my self absorbed ego again) Let me first present what I know now after 2 years of nursing school... I am no longer a 4.0 student. I do NOT know half the stuff that I thought I did. I am nothing but a worthless piece of junk! Nurses actually do eat their young (only nurses and nursing students will understand that) and because I am a TRYING to be a positive person--- I still want to be a nurse. That being said......let me just share one story that is just BURNING my soul right now. I am hoping that if I get it off my chest.....I will be able to forget about it and move on. I had a clinical instructor last night that we will name Mrs. Dummie. (sorry, lame but all I could come up with right now) Let me present all the evidence in a list.
1. She showed up an hour late last night AFTER previously yelling at us 2 weeks ago because we were down in the cafe waiting for her and she was on the floor. She accused us of patient abandonment because we were 10 minutes late coming onto the floor. Yet NEVER said sorry or mentioned WHY she was 60 minutes late last night.
2. I went in with the nurse and did my nursing assessment and got the patient ready for bed. I turned her light out and she FINALLY fell asleep. She was agitated and confused so when she finally fell asleep it was like the sigh of relief you experience after getting a cranky child to bed. I walked out into the hall and Mrs. Dummie told me that she needed to go in with me to do my assessment. I explained that the nurse went in with me and that my patient had finally gone to sleep. Her response "Well, we are waking her up" and she did just that.
3. While in doing the assessment she was asking me a question and when I answered her she said "Don't talk and chew gum at the same time" in front of the patient. The worse part? I DID NOT have gum in my mouth
4. She told me to write in my nurses notes.......Resting comfortably. When I showed her the chart later in the night she yelled at me in front of everyone and said "Why did you write that? How do you know she is comfortable?" I wanted to yell, "Because Lady! You told me to write that!!"

That was my experience last night. Do I feel better? A little bit. I have been working on anger management and I feel that I hit a milestone last night because I managed to keep control and just let the anger stew inside of me. Is nursing school bad? Yes and no. This was by far the extreme of the bad. Most instructors are not like this. They are kind and willing to help out but it is just those few bad ones that make it so miserable.

I was driving home today thinking of last night over and over again in my head. I managed to pause for a few minutes and I noticed the beauty of the world right now. The flowers are blooming, the birds are out, the grass is green, and everything looks new. I was driving down the road and was marveling at how the tree branches were stretching out above me to form almost a tunnel of green over my car. I was lost in the magic of Spring and suddenly I heard a loud CRUNCH! One of the "magical" mammals of Spring managed to run under my tire. So much for the beautiful trees.