My dearest Connor. Connor was my long awaited miracle. I never believed that I would have a child and when I got pregnant with Connor, I vowed that if anything went wrong with the pregnancy, I would NEVER try again. After 9 months of fretting, stressing, and obsessing over this child he came into my world and turned it upside down. He was my beautiful baby and will always hold a special place in my heart. It's not that I love him more than I love Jaxson, I don' t even think that is possible but I spent two years alone with Connor. It was just the two of us and I hold that very dear to me. Why am I being so emotional? Because I found out today that Connor has his first loose tooth. I know, it is silly but a part of me is reflecting back on the past 5 years and I am shaking my head wondering, where did time go? It seems like only yesterday that I was walking the floor with him trying to bounce the colic right out of him. Now he is 5 and getting ready for kindergarten and his baby teeth are getting ready to fall out. I caught a scary look at the future today during church when I suddenly imagined what the next 5 years will be like. He is going to become a sports obsessed boy who will start becoming more interested in playing with friends than laying with mom on the couch watching cartoons (yes, I am that kind of mom) and I feel like I am starting to grab for memories. I never thought that I would want to freeze time. I have always looked forward to the day that my kids would become more independent and grown up and now I am SCREAMING for time to slow down. Connor went for his kindergarten check up last week. The doctor came in and was doing the usual exam. She listened to his breath sounds, his belly, and was starting to pull his boxers down to check his genitals when Connor got anxious and said, "Hey, what are you doing? That is my business" We laughed and laughed. He is really starting to develop his own personality (late because of his extreme shyness) and I love seeing what a little boy he has become. He makes me laugh daily and I enjoy every moment that I get to be his mother.