Shannon's childhood theories

I look at my children and long to go back to the golden days of childhood. I envy the innocence they possess about the outside world and the extreme joy they experience from the simple beauties of life such as finding a butterfly during a morning walk. I started reflecting back onto my childhood and found great amusement on some of my childhood "theories"

Death
As a child I could not comprehend that death was something that would happen to everyone. I believed that if someone died, they went to heaven and they got to pick one friend that would come up and join them. (It made sense at the time) I thought I could live forever as long as none of my closest and dearest friends had any desire to spend eternity in the heavens with me. (the real reason that I fed them all "mud pies" made with real mud plus charged them a dime for my delicious dessert)

Vampires
This is something I believed in with all my heart. I slept with a wood stake under my bed and would have consumed large amounts of garlic if my mother would allow it. I came up with the theory that as long as I kept my neck covered by blankets while sleeping, I would be safe from any vampires feeding off me. To this day, I still sleep with the blankets tucked all around my neck but more for habit instead of fear.

Earwigs
I had a fear of Earwigs. I hated this little bug with all my heart because I had a fear that they would get in my ear and pinch my eardrum until I couldn't hear again. The few times that I suffered from ear infections I truly believed that it was caused by an earwig that had crawled into my ear. I came up with my own theory that the earwig evolved from the potato bug (those little bugs that curl into a ball when you touch them) so I exterminated all potato bugs that I encountered convinced that by doing so, I was ridding the world of ear destroying earwigs. This theory was destroyed this summer by my friend Sandy who informed me that the earwig does not evolve from the potato bug.


Ahhh, to be a child again. So innocent and carefree. I recently called home from school and had the following conversation with Connor who answered the phone.

C: "Mom, why you turn the toilet blue"
S: "It is a cleaner that mommy put into the toilet to keep the toilet clean"
C: "But mom, it makes my pee turn green!!! That is silly"

I wish the only concern I had about my day was that peeing into a blue toilet turned my urine green.