Fumbling through life. I feel like that is what I am doing right now. Just fumbling through. I have struggled the past few days with a storm brewing inside me of self doubt, insecurity, and self worthlessness. As is life, we can't all dance through the different stages without having the times where it feels like everything is crumbling down and we switch from a human mode to a robot mode and we just get through the day mechanically and programmed. And I realized today as I thought about life's experiences that through our joy and suffering it is part of the universal circle of life. I go through my experiences to better understand and help my children when they will go through theirs. If I never experienced the joy of falling in love I wouldn't understand the fleeting feeling they will experience when that time comes for them. And if I didn't experience heartbreak then I wouldn't have the compassion or sympathy to comfort them when they experience their heartbreak. And what a hard thing to accept that once day I will have to watch them suffer. But it is knowing that I will have the experiences to watch them experience joy and love that switch me from robot mode back to human. And during my times of self doubt, insecurity, and self worthlessness it give me some comfort to know that my experience may someday benefit them. And as life is, that is how compassion is made. You can't fully comprehend the pain you inflict upon another unless someone has inflicted that pain upon you.