I realized that I have been posting a lot of pictures and not enough Shannon talk. I know my Utah friends are missing my dry Utah humor. So, I will explain to you what I have been doing with my time.

1. Running. A friend convinced me to sign up for a 5 K on Mothers Day. Before the days of nursing school I was a runner. I love the wind in my hair as my feet pound the pavement to the rhythm of the music blasting in my ears. Now, I was a little obsessed for a short time in my life. So much so that I would set my alarm clock for 5 AM, wake my roommate up and drag her to the gym with me everymorning so I could run my 3 miles before working my eight hour day. Fast forward to the present and I NEVER wake up at 5 AM---especially to go out running. Forget about it! The first few days I started running again were more like a speed walk. People probably thought I was being chased by a bee. And it was a sore time in my life. Muscles I didn't even know existed were screaming in anger at me. Now I find it relaxing again to go out and just let my feet take me away. I am not fast by any means but I get where I need to go.

2. My last night of clinical---I had my last night of nursing clinical! Because of the anxiety of this swine flu, the emergency department was filled with people suspecting they had the swine flu. None did, but the lucky nursing students got to assist them with their every need. One lady thought she had the swine flu because she went to the casino.........The highlight of my whole night was doing an ultrasound. I got to do an ultrasound on a fellow classmate and see her baby girl moving all around. Little fingers and toes. It brought back a lot of memories.

3. Cleaning---I wonder if I will ever just give up on keeping the house clean? Probably not.

4.Planning an escape to Utah---I am so homesick. The urge to hop in my car and just drive until I get there is some days unbearable. I miss the Utah heat. I love summer in Utah because the mornings are cool yet you can watch the sun slowly creep up from behind the mountains.

Connor's wishes

When Connor got off the bus today he was happy to see one of those weeds that you make a wish and blow all the seeds off. I saw his lips moving while silently before he blew and asked him, "Connor, what did you wish for?" His response was so child like and simple it made me love him even more. "To have the Force and to get a new scooter"

It reminded me that my son is growing up. It seems like only yesterday he was three, like in the above picture and we walked through the park blowing dandilions into the wind.

Easter 2009

Easter 2009

Our Easter Dinner.


Connor finding eggs left by the Easter Bunny

Jaxson trying to find more Eggs than Connor

Jaxson

Jaxson playing golf. You have to push pause on the music player to hear the background music.

Music Monday

So, I heard this song on the radio this morning on the way home from work and remembered how much I LOVE it! And as I listened to the lyrics that I was sure I thought I would grow old singing to my husband, I realized that they remind me of how much I love my children. Anyhoo, guess the name of the song and the artist correctly and I will send you a special present in the mail.

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love


Oh, and the present that I will mail just might be an autographed photo of me in my graduation cap!!!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR????? Don't be the lucky, I mean unlucky loser!

I cannot believe Connor is 6. Sometimes it catches me by surprise. Especially when I see cute pictures of him like this from when he was a little guy that wanted to spend time with me. He is too independent now.

I eat, think, and sleep graduation. I haven't removed my hat since I got it I am so excited. I'm almost done!

In between thinking about school, work, and this terrible tooth ache I have had, I made these diaper cakes for a friend. I had so much fun because it was for THREE girls. I love girl! Pink, yellow, purple, and flowers. So much fun.

My sister requested that I post something because I have been silent but I was silent because I really don't have much to say right now. All I can think about is graduation!!!!! WOO-HOO!

My thoughts for today

I've heard it said ....That people come into our lives for a reason.... Bringing something we must learn ....And we are led....To those who help us most to grow ....If we let them ...And we help them in return ....Well, I don't know if I believe that's true .....But I know I'm who I am today Because I knew you...

From the Wicked Soundtrack

Cap and Gown fun

This sums up how I felt through the majority of my nursing school. Like I was reading the books upside down.

ALMOST there

I think Connor makes a better graduate. He looks more distinguished in the cap and gown than I do.
Anyone else that wants to try on a cap and gown, give me a call. I have a spare one lying around right now.

PS I am hoping my real graduation photos turn out better than these. I have the best photographer on board to take them.

Sick and Dangerous

I was sick this weekend. Not from a flu, cold, or germ of any kind. I am sick from a medication. A year ago I went to visit my doctor. I was having problems sleeping at night because I would get anxious as soon as I would lay down. The anxiety got so bad that I decided that I needed some medical intervention. After discussing with my doctor we (ok, more he) decided that a medication called Effexor would be a good solution for me. He told me it would help the anxiety and I was also having problems with fatigue which he explained the Effexor would help also. Seemed like the miracle drug. I came home and looked it up in my nursing drug book and didn't see any big red bold lettering indicating that it was a dangerous medication so I began taking it. The anxiety was completely gone. In fact, I felt great. I was calmer and didn't freak out over every little thing. The fatigue never went away but I was satisfied with the disappearance of the anxiety. Fast forward a year later. I began noticing that when I forgot to take a dose I fell sick. Not just achy or sick like a cold. Sick like the room would spin, I would throw up, hot flashes, and dizziness. I went through all the possible causes....pregnancy, flu, Lyme's disease, ect. Nothing. Then one day, it hit me. I began searching on the Internet about Effexor and was HORRIFIED to see what people were writing about it. They described exactly what I was feeling when they tried to get off the medication. See, the drug company and the doctors do not disclose that this medication has a HORRIBLE withdraw! So, I vowed to quit the medication immediately. I made it three days before I broke down and took one because the sick feeling was too much. Now, I am again three days without the medication and the room is still spinning and my kids voices sound like they are in concert acoustics but I will NOT take another one.

This experience has opened my eyes to a few things: 1. I am not immune to addictions of any kind 2. I have a new found sense of sympathy for those who are in the cycle of addiction 3. Doctors do not know everything. I should have researched more about the medication before taking it 4. When in doubt, trust yourself!

I know after this experience, I will NEVER take a medication or give one to my children without REALLY researching it. It is so scary the different side effects and consequences of some of the meds out there.

So, I have decided not to go to graduation. There's many reasons I came to this decision but the biggest influence was the fact that they are having graduation on a Friday morning at 11 AM. Since it will only be Jade here to come watch me walk across the stage I am not going. I am just glad I am finished. It has been a long 5 years. The school has a graduation breakfast for everyone and I will attend that. If Helene Fuld is buying me free breakfast, I'm there.

Have you ever missed someone/something so much that even closing your eyes at night gives no respite from the longing? I am so homesick right now that even in my dreams I imagine Utah and the sights and smells. I am trying to decide if it is Utah that I really miss or my subconscious just telling me that I need a vacation.

I got my graduation dress last night. Love it. It gives me something to look forward to. Picture to follow soon.

April Fools Day........I am debating something right now. Should I work tonight or not? I wonder if they would think it was a good joke to call and say, "Sure, put me on the schedule tonight" Then call at 11 PM when I decide that I really don't want to work and say "April Fools" -----Probably not.

So I love the song on my play list from Muse. Supermassive Black Hole. Perfect running song. Nothing like the pounding of your feet on the pavement, the wind in your hair and that song blasting in your ears. Plus, it reminds me of Edward Cullen.

In response to my comment from Charity about nurses and OCD........I agree 100% with you Charity. I think a lot of nurses are OCD. I think they tend to be over organized and that is why they can do the job so well. Nursing is so fast paced and requires good organizational skills and cleaning. (you don't want a dirty patient, they smell better when they are clean) You must be organized to give medications on a timely manner and do avoid confusion which could result in medication errors or forgetting to do important treatments. At least this is what I tell myself over and over again when I am at the hospital and my "Monk" characteristics kick in. Some people find this terribly annoying.....I find it to be eternal bliss. I mean, I imagine heaven to be organized and orderly. Right?