I can see the future

I found this on my old blog. An entry from October 6, 2006. Scary how accurate it is for my life now!


My mind is made up....sort of October 6, 2006
I swore after having Jaxson that I was done having kids. I didn't want to be swollen and pregnant again and have a crying baby latched to me 24 hours a day. I begged my doctor to tie my tubes at my 6 week appointment and he happily agreed to do so.........after I had waited a year. Well, my baby is turning 1 in a month and I am thinking crazy thoughts. I laughed at the look of terror and dismay on Jade's face when I announced last night that I will be having another baby..........in three years. I have this crazy desire to have another child when I am finished with nursing school. Lately I have loved watching Jaxson, Connor, and Jake play and just don't feel like I am ready to be done yet. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? I had to start back on prednisone this week because I just can't kick this poison ivy. One of the best side effects from this medicine is that it gives me this incredible amount of energy. I stayed up until 1:30 AM last night studying and got up at 7 AM with the kids. After taking my wonder pills I felt as refreshed as a woman who had slept 12 hours. Not only did I have my three boys during the day but I was babysitting 4 other kids ranging in ages 2 months to 4 years. I was superwoman. I commented to a friend that this medicine is greater than crack. It gives me the energy that a crack addict gets from crack but I don't have the psychotic disillusions that they suffer from. After pondering my recent feelings to add another child to this crazy home, I have decided that this medicine must be worse than crack. And that I must be suffering from hallucinations...........especially when all the other kids went home and I was left with just my two boys. Jaxson bit me and Connor did everything I asked him not to do. I realize the power of this medication. It must be sedating me during the day or just removing me from my reality. I just cannot shake this desire to have another baby and my mind is made up..........sort of. We'll see when my wonder pills are gone.